What To Do When A Loved One Refuses Assisted Living Services

What To Do When A Loved One Refuses Assisted Living Services

November 2, 2018


Many seniors, as they age, refuse to take help or ask for it even when they need it. While this may often stress our caregivers, it is in fact quite common.

Many seniors will insist they are healthy enough to skip a doctor’s appointment, or to continue working even if they might be struggling with their daily tasks. Many caregiver and family members often struggle with convincing senior loved ones when it is time to seek out caregiving or assisted living options.

Convincing a senior loved one to consider an assisted living option that will help improve their quality of life does not have to be difficult, nor does it have to turn into a huge conflict. With the help of some strategies and an element of understanding from both sides, a resolution that benefits both parties can be achieved. Here are a few things to do when a senior loved one refuses help.

Be Understanding, Because Aging Can Be Scary

Aging is not easy for anyone, even if they are prepared for it, with a solid retirement plan. Many senior loved ones struggle with coming to terms with the fact that they are getting old and that their bodies are no longer able to function the way that they used to. Aging means reduced vision, reduced mobility and flexibility, isolation and in some cases, struggling to keep up with the daily chores of sustenance and hygiene.

Most younger family members, such as children of senior loved ones are unable to understand how a person who has been so active in their youth is suddenly not capable of doing their own chores. This leads to caregivers and children not being able to understand to what degree aging is affecting their senior loved ones at a mental, emotional and physical level.

Coming to terms with the fact that a senior refusing help is not uncommon, caregivers and children can help make due progress. By showing compassion and empathy to a senior loved one and reminding them that they are still worthy of love, the groundwork to helping them get ready to accept help can be laid.

Talk About The Future Before A Crisis Strikes

A family extending their love and support to a senior loved one should always be prepared as much as possible, for the future. This can help the senior loved ones prepare themselves for the possibilities where they might need help. For example, you may ask them if they are ready to employ some house help to support them with daily tasks and responsibilities as they grow older.

With the help of repetitive talks about how the senior loved one perceives themselves as they age, measures to protect the senior loved one and improve their well-being can be put into place, without a tussle.

Give Them Options, Not Limits

How many times have you tried to convince a senior loved one to not drive and ended up with a distasteful exchange by the end of the conversation? Instead of telling senior loved ones that they can no longer do certain things, help them out in alternative ways that the task can be done. For example, let the senior loved one decide the day and time they would like to see the doctor. If your senior loved one wants to go for a drive, accompany them and drive them there instead of telling them they can’t drive.

Get Expert Advice

Let’s face it: seniors will not believe something you tell them unless the information is coming to them straight from a healthcare professional. Take the help of doctors, social workers, priests, etc. to convince senior loved ones about how an assisted living facility can help improve their quality of life. An expert will also be able to outline the benefits of certain therapies that may be helpful and explain to them the course their treatments are going to take. This way, there won’t be any ambiguity as to why certain procedures or appointments need to take place.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

We all love our parents dearly and want the best for them. If they are resisting going to the doctor, try to find a doctor who would be able to see them at home instead. If you need your senior loved one to see a therapist, ask the therapist if the session can be done at a local park instead. Allow your senior loved one the flexibility in their routines wherever you can.

At the end of the day, the decision is ultimately theirs. If they still refuse help or refuse to consider an assisted living facility as a future home, respect their choice and offer them unconditional love and support. At this stage, that’s all they need.

Looking For An Assisted Living Facility For A Senior Loved One?

Get in touch with Ralph Caro, a certified senior living advisor based in the Kansas City metropolitan area, with an experience of over 35 years in elder care and placement. Ralph Caro understands the ups and downs of convincing a senior loved one to live in an assisted living facility, as he faced a similar situation with his mother. He provides a free consultation and then makes suggestions for possible future homes, based on how much assistance the senior loved one requires.

Call at 816-666-7083 and get in touch with Ralph Caro, today.